EPISODE SEVENTEEN -
THORNS OF DEATH
  JURI: Woe. I am an unloved lesbian. Woooooooooooe.
  UTENA: Juri is SUCH a badass. If I weren't so scared of her, I'd fangirl.
  SHIORI: Hi there. Miss me?
  JURI: ...I hate everything, and especially you.
  SHIORI: I used to be Juri's best friend, until I buried a cleaver in her back. Now she hates me for no reason! Feel sorry for me!
  UTENA: Awww, poor thing.
  ANTHY: ...she's not being sarcastic, you realize.
  MIKAGE: Like we were going anywhere near that cow debacle.
  MAMIYA: Look, my bodily fluids.
  MIKAGE: Allow me to suck them off your long, tapered finger.
  MAMIYA: And I shall make suggestive noises.
  MIKAGE: Also, Rose Bride, death, thorns, defeat Tenjou. It's not a new plan, people.
  NANAMI: So your sister pulled your "weapon" out of your "chest," and then she wore pants. Do I need to say it?
  MIKI: ...you are a PERVERT.
  SHIORI: Can we talk?
  JURI: No. Shove off.
  SHIORI: Please?
  JURI: 'Kay.
  SHIORI: So in conclusion, I'd like for you to feel sorry for me because I deliberately broke your heart and used your pain to make me feel like a bigger person. Deal?
  JURI: I stand by my previous statement of shove off.
 

BIRD: ::flies into window and twitches in exactly the way that no real bird ever would::
  JURI: Besides which, he had boy parts.
  SHIORI: Then who DO you love?
  JURI: Shove. Off. Are you deaf?
  UTENA: Forgive her.
  JURI: I will not hesitate to maim you.
  UTENA: She's more of a badass than I am. Sulk.
  AKIO: You need to get less innocent and pure. Perhaps you should let someone touch your "precious thing"?
  UTENA: You give such good advice.
  JURI: Bugger this locket thing for a lark. In addition, there are no miracles.
  SHIORI: I hate Juri. She's never been anything but supportive and nice to me, that bitch. So I boinked what's his name, but that didn't give me any more self-esteem. So unfair!
  MIKAGE: You're listening to K-PORN, your number-one porn broadcasting station.
  SHIORI: And now I know her secret! She's in love with me- but this brings me no joy. Wait, yes it does. No, it doesn't. Does! Doesn't! Why does it have to be like this? Why am I such a self-obsessed brat? Why must my hair be purple? Why am I short? I'M SO WRONGED! FEEL SORRY FOR ME, DAMMIT!
  MIKAGE: I will if you let us jab this foliage into your chest.
  SHIORI: That sounds fair.
  JURI: This is about the most embarassing thing in, um, ever. Can I have my incriminating jewelry back?
  SHIORI: You're so sexy when under great emotional duress. Hurt more, my lesbian chew toy! Mwahaha!
  JURI: Oh no, my cleavage!
  C-KO: There's nothing more important than the temperature of your nether regions, unless it's being trendy.
  UTENA: Those are really well-behaved birds.
  SHIORI: This is the real me! The me full of birds! I'm stronger than ever with the blood of a friend on my hands!
  UTENA: That's empowering and all, but you just cut my hair, and therefore must die.
  SHIORI: Owie.
 

MIKAGE: Well, bah. I'll get you next time, Tenjou! Next time!
  UTENA: What a nice person Shiori is.
  ANTHY: No, she's still a waste of air.
  JURI: And I'm still a lesbian.
  UTENA: But I'm not!
  JURI: ...wooooooe.
    END EPISODE SEVENTEEN
 

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