EPISODE ONE - THE ROSE BRIDE
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EPISODE ONE - THE ROSE BRIDE
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LITTLE GIRL: My parents are dead. This sucks. | |
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PRINCE: Marry me, you underage cutie you. | |
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LITTLE GIRL: Ooooo, ain't you a looker? Parents? What parents? | |
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PRINCE: Fixations are good. | |
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LITTLE GIRL: Wow, a shiny new sexual identity crisis! Who was that masked man? | |
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ROSES: SPIN. Welcome to Mugen Gaku- er, Ohtori. You'll be seeing a lot of us. | |
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WAKABA: KILL. | |
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UTENA: I'm not a lesbian. | |
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TEACHER: We don't hold with crossdressers 'round these here parts. | |
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UTENA: Bite me, figure of authority. My hair's better than yours. | |
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TEACHER. So are your barely-clad legs. This angers me. ::becomes Bondage!Teacher:: | |
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UTENA: ... um, yeah. Gotta go. | |
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ROSES: FWOOSH. | |
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UTENA: Ph34r my l33t ninja basketball skeelz! | |
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GIRLS: Squee! She's such a hottie! | |
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UTENA: But a straight hottie. A maidenly, modest hottie. Spandex notwithstanding. Not to say you can't still fawn all over me, 'natch. | |
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UTENA: My deepest wish is to be a guy. But I'm not a lesbian. Ooo, flowers! | |
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ROSES: Don't mind us. | |
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UTENA: I find you strangely compelling, inexplicably Indian gardener. | |
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ANTHY: ... | |
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SAIONJI: Sucks to be you. SMACK. | |
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UTENA: Eh, not my problem. | |
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TOUGA: Dude, little harsh there. | |
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UTENA: Hey, now we're getting somewhere! | |
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WAKABA: DIE, love of my life! Ooo, you found us some beefcake! | |
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UTENA: Are you a closet S&M freak or something? | |
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WAKABA: Not unless YOU wanna spank me. | |
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SAIONJI: Wasssaaaaap? | |
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MIKI: Hot damn, I'm lovable. Lovable and precise. | |
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JURI: Worship me. | |
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TOUGA: SEX. Sai, leave some Rose Bride for the rest of the party or I'm going to have to vaguely threaten you with the apocolypse. Sorta. | |
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SAIONJI: Feh. Peasants. She lurvs me. Y'all startin' some shit? Hmph. Thought not. | |
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ANTHY: ... | |
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WAKABA: Hey, how come YOU get jewelry? | |
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UTENA: 'Cause I'm the magical girl. Duh. | |
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SCHOOLBOYS: Lookit, someone's secret sexual fantasies! It's like the internet, only less explicit! Sweeto! | |
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UTENA: Oh, come ON, guys! Like, ew! | |
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WAKABA: I WANNA DIE! | |
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UTENA: Oh, you goin' down, little kendo man. | |
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SAIONJI: You amuse me, lowly mortal. Bring it on. | |
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SHADOW GIRLS: We're CRYPTIC! Duels! Heroes! Rules! Mystery! | |
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UTENA: ...The hell is up with these stairs? | |
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BANYU INRYOUKU: Death rebirth blah blah sin blah blah blah apocalypse blah. | |
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UTENA: I SO hope that thing doesn't fall. | |
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SAIONJI: Shaddap, peasant. Come, my rose bitch! | |
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ANTHY: ... | |
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UTENA: You again? | |
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ANTHY: ...you're cute. | |
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SAIONJI: RAGE. | |
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UTENA: You know, I like you less and less. | |
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SAIONJI: Are we fighting yet? | |
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ANTHY: Swords make me tingly. | |
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UTENA: I can see up her skirt. Heh heh. | |
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SAIONJI: By the power of Grayskull! | |
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UTENA: That has to be the most pesudo-erotic thing I've ever seen in my sheltered little life. | |
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SAIONJI: Enough talk! I keel joo! | |
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UTENA: Hm, maybe the hollow stick wasn't my best choice for a weapon. | |
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SAIONJI: You intrigue me. Die anyway. | |
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UTENA: Miraculous Flashback Power- MAKE UP! | |
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ROSES: FWOOSH. | |
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SAIONJI: What? This can't be! I'm invincible! | |
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UTENA: You're a looney. | |
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ANTHY: ...::smirk:: | |
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TOUGA: DAMN, she's fine. | |
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UTENA: Huh. That was quite bizarre. | |
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ANTHY: Dominate me, baby. | |
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UTENA: ...I'm really not a lesbian. | |
| END EPISODE ONE | ||