August 11th, 2003, 7:56 pm

Hi, kittens! Miss me? Bet you didn't.

I have friends. I know this may come as a shock to some, but what can I say? My ilk tends to flock. And I can think of no more efficient way to piss me right the hell off than to insult someone I care about. It's a failing of mine.

This makes having Raksha-chan as a friend VERY interesting.

A bit of background is in order here. Raksha is a good friend of mine and has been for years now. She's half of the Good Fanfiction Webring with Trin-chan, and beyond that is nearly as reclusive online as Takai, another dear friend of mine. I have hermit-friends. Raksha, though I love her, is a bit less... gentle... than some. She's very honest with her opinions, and one needs to take that into consideration when interacting with her. But she only unleashes the full force of her tongue (such as it were, and I think I shall be feeling it myself after this rant) with those who know her- she's hardly mean, just blunt. However, she tries to be good with those who aren't accustomed to her brand of honesty, and is never, ever intentionally cruel, because that's one of her personal pet peeves. Many people don't immediately see her less abrasive qualities, and she's made a lot of people rather irked at her. They get mad and defensive, she doesn't really care much because she generally thinks she was justified, I take offense at what they say to her, much fun is had by all.

Now, over at the Pit of Voles, there festers the usual glut of mindless fics and even less intelligent reviews. There ARE coherent, thoughtful reviews, don't get me wrong, but those tend to be eclipsed by the masses of "OMG LOL Ur ficcy iz so grate more plz!" and the quality reviewers seem to have given up, by and large. Which is a shame, since I'm fairly sure that's not what ff.net was originally created for, but rather as a place where reviews were hopefully a little bit helpful, or at least readable. But alas, this was apparently not to be. Le sigh.

Yesterday evening, Ce-chan came across a Pirates of the Caribbean fic of the usual caliber and, being as she is a sadist, shared. (Thanks EVER so much, by the way.) The OOC behavior is not to be believed, kittens. Governor Swann, poor man, sounded like "Yoda on drugs," according to Trin, and screamed or insulted Elizabeth at the drop of a pin. Jack popped back into Port Royal just in time to decide to give up the Pearl within about eight lines of discussion and marry the pregnant-by-Will Elizabeth. Where's Will? Oh, he's dead. How, you ask? Apparently that bit wasn't important enough to mention. (Or I may have forgotten- I frankly couldn't bring myself to read past the beginning of chapter three.) And Elizabeth? Perfectly okay with having had sex outside of wedlock, which was a BIG HONKING DEAL in that day and age. Jack... poor, poor, poor Jack... was divested of both his eyeliner and his hair. I weep into my tea at this point.

In what may have been an attempt to disguise the utterly ridiculous behavior of these people pretending to be the PotC cast, the grammar and spelling are, to put it mildly, atrocious. Elizabeth's child is consistently referred to as a "basterd." Jack is a "non-judging person." Capitalization and accurate punctuation are a fond memory for the reader. But overall, there isn't anything too remarkable about this story. It just ticked us off, because... well, why? There's no point whatsoever, and the plot is about as hackneyed as any given after-school special. Before reading this rant, O Net Denizen, take a look and form your own opinion as to whether or not she was giving constructive criticism or simply being mean for the hell of it.

Done? Okay, you may continue.

Raksha, being irked at the mass OOC, wrote a review and was promptly flamed. Raksha-chan found this unspeakably funny. I agree with her there, but some of the people flaming made some points that are MY pet peeves. I don't intend to go into the more obvious idiocies of how personal attacks in response to a review are in essence admitting defeat, since the flamer obviously can't think up a pertinent argument and has to resort to name-calling. (Oops, did I just contradict myself? Silly me.) Personally, the thing I found the most amusing was the second flamer, who not only didn't have the spine to include their e-mail address, but who didn't even include their NAME, instead signing as "Raksha, the lowlife." I can't decide if it's funnier that they can't seem to tell the difference between the terms "name" and "subject," or that they signed their flame with the name of the person they were insulting.

However.

Good GRIEF, people, what are you thinking? When were the rules of writing decreed to be outdated and obsolete? Did I miss this memo? Since when did chatroom spelling become an appropriate form of communication? At what point did having opinions become unforgivable? Not only did Raksha give an honest and obviously considered opinion on what could be improved about the story, she recommended a resource for the writer to perhaps fix some errors. Offering help is cruel now? I have been out of touch.

Raksha, levelheaded thing that she is on occasion, has no desire whatsoever to pursue an argument with these people. I, on the other hand, am going to have a nice evening looking at these arguments point by point. I have her permission. Let's explore exactly why this attitude towards fiction writing infuriates me so.

First, Flamer 1 states that the purpose of fanfiction is to "release the imagination of the writer and mold the characters to fit their stories." Actually, no. No, it isn't. Fanfiction is entertainment, just as the source material is entertainment. I have seen people use this argument- "Oh, its not REAL writing"- or a variant of it for years, and it has never failed to annoy me. Any time you put something in print and make it available for another person to read, it is real writing. Therefore, you are responsible for the quality therein. Writing fanfiction can be an exercise for the writer, sure. I have no problems with that. However, what use is an exercise if you don't attempt to improve? Do you also believe that if you sit down at the bench you'll suddenly be able to play the piano, simply because you really, really love the Moonlight Sonata? Writing is an art, just like everything else, and it takes work and practice. If you don't want to improve, you have no right to call yourself a writer. If you don't want to put effort into your writing, you have no right to ask us to kowtow to you and leave glowing reviews. If you don't want to hear dissenting views, don't post your writing online, because to post a story in a public forum is to give people permission to have their own opinions about it. I have just as much right to dislike your story as someone else does to think it's the most original idea ever put to paper- and you have no right whatsoever to tell me I cannot express that, no more than I would tell you not to express yours.

The characters are not available for personality transplants. This is not negotiable. Either you write good, considered fiction where the characters act like themselves, as they were presented in the canon material, or you write bad fiction. End of discussion. Small changes are acceptable. Making Jack give up the Pearl after all he went through to get it back? Not a small change, and thus not acceptable. This applies to all fandom. Vejiita? Not a man in touch with his sensitive side. Sorry, but he isn't. He will NOT break down into tears, he will blow something up. If he's crying, you had better have one hell of a reason why, and that reason had better have been developed over the course of the plot. Hermione Granger is not an airhead, nor is she a flirt, and unless it's a parody fic, this should not happen. If you want to write good fiction, you will write in character, or any intelligent members of your audience will stop reading. This rule will not be changed, and if you think that is too harsh, you are advised to perhaps find a different outlet for your creativity. We read fanfiction to explore new aspects or situations in worlds and with characters we already know. To change those characters is to defeat the entire purpose of reading fic, and no one wants that. It is boring, and it is insulting to the reader's intelligence, as Raksha mentioned, to assume that simply because they are named Shinji and Asuka we will blindly accept that they are Shinji and Asuka. You have to convince us, and that is what good writing consists of; coaxing the reader to suspend their disbelief and care about the people in the story.

Flamer 1 also mentions that Raksha "tore it to shreds." Funny. I didn't see a single personal attack in there, nor was there an insult to be found, unlike the posts of both Flamer 1 and 2. (Actually, Flamer 2's post consisted entirely of personal attacks, so I will disregard her comments henceforth.) Interesting, that an attempt at constructive criticism is received in such a remarkably hostile manner. Generously, Flamer 1 feels bad for Raksha-chan. Again, I find that funny, because I don't. Raksha's post was more coherent, far more articulate, and generally more helpful than the positive and substance-free reviews Flamer 1 has been leaving for this particular story. Finally, there is the helpful suggestion that Raksha leave ff.net if she is "unwilling to open [her] mind, and expand [her] horizions. Try a different site, like frigidbitch.com" (Lack of period not my own.)

Pause, O Patient Reader, whilst I have a hysterical giggling fit.

Raksha, not open minded? The girl whose motto is, "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it?" Raksha, who has said repeatedly that if nobody gets hurt, she's fine with it in any venue? I'm fairly sure that if she were any more open minded, there would be a draft. She may not approve of what you do, but she staunchly believes that you are more than welcome to do it as long as it doesn't impose on someone else. Which is delightfully ironic, given that she is being accused of having a closed mind in the same breath as she is vilified for expressing a dissenting opinion. She was trying to give assistance, not clap you in irons, but if assistance is so offensive, rest assured that it shall not be provided again. You are free as the bird to write terrible fiction by the ream and delude yourself into thinking that it is of some sort of quality. Have at it, intolerant little fangirls. Just don't pretend we have no right to call it like we see it.

Aaaaa, here we have the comments from the author herself. This is endlessly amusing.

Raksha- I don't know where to begin with you! Might I personally suggest with the tips for writing improvement? That seems logical.

I'm a teenager, not an English major, so whether you're a professor or not I don't care. How precisely is this a salient point? Two flames have used this argument, and I still cannot see how it is at all relevant. You don't have to be an English major to write well or to appreciate good writing. All you need to do is pay attention. I realize that this may be difficult for some, but give it a shot, just for the thrill of the new. I have known many, many teenagers who write more articulately than this author, so that holds no water either. A professor would not be wasting time with this story, which is a shame, since many people could benefit from the input. I certainly could. And I can assure you that Raksha doesn't care either- she was merely giving feedback. Which you requested, as I recall. Is it really so horrible if the feedback isn't the type you were hoping for? (The structure of this sentence can perhaps be overlooked, as she is clearly typing it in a moment of pique, and has made it apparent that she is quite averse to any insinuations that her technical writing is less than stellar.)

I am not forcing you to read this story so back the hell off. No, you are not, and she is not forcing you to take her advice. Nor did she resort to profanity in her comments, so it might be wise to follow your own command.

Spelling, everyone makes mistakes, live with it. Indeed, they do. I do, Raksha does, published authors do. This is why there is a process known colloquially as editing. This is also why spell-check was developed, so that folks wouldn't have to risk overlooking a misplaced letter. Raksha mentioned a spell-checker, I believe. So too, I imagine, would your teachers.

This is fan fiction, not an original story. No, you claim that it is fanfiction. What it actually is bears only a passing familiarity with the canon material, and thus cannot in good conscience be called fanfiction. An actual fan would know better than to completely rewrite a character's personality, morals (or lack thereof), and motivations. An actual fan would have paid a lot more attention to the source material. If you had substituted some Mary Sue for Elizabeth's role it would have been slightly less offensive to a fan's sensibilities, because at least that would have been honest about the characterization.

If I wanted it to be that way it would be on fictionpress, but this is how I wanted it to be, your opinion means nothing to me. ...You know, I hardly think this warrants a reply. Let us move on.

Don't advertise books to me! If she were advertising, she would be getting paid. She was making a helpful suggestion, which you chose to ignore, as is your right. The book in question can, in fact, be found in many twelfth grade classrooms. That's where she got her copy.

You have no right to criticize the way I'm doing something, not with your comments. And why, exactly, is that? She does have that right. As she is living in the USA, it is part of the amendments of her government. She is legally permitted to say whatever she wants about the quality of your story, because she is allowed to express her opinions as she sees fit. I fail to see the logic behind this statement. Moreover, if someone could explain to me how Raksha could criticize without comments I'd appreciate it, because I'm confused as to how one would accomplish that.

How do I ' insult' readers? Do you have at theory behind that? I believe she explained it in her review, but I'll quote for purposes of clarification.

If you are going to use characterizations entirely unlike those of the original characters, why are you writing fanfiction? Be honest, use an ounce more effort in your planning to create a new setup, and call it an original story. These people in your fic seem to have no further connection to the characters we know beyond sharing their names. A reader who cares one inkling for the characters as they are and not simply as cardboard fantasy cutouts with no real soul will have severe problems reading stories like this, because they aren't reading about Jack and Elizabeth. They are reading about Mary Sue and Faceless Superman. And frankly, that's boring and insulting to the reader, if not quite offensive. It also shows a distinct lack of effort on the part of the writer.

To wit, she is saying that to assume the readers will accept things just because you say they are so is to assume your readers won't think about the story, and to assume that your audience will turn off their brains upon clicking the link is to insult them rather obviously. Quotes should have quotation marks, by the way, rather than a pair of apostrophes.

Or are you just trying to sound grown up? You're not worth spending anymore time for this response. This makes me giggle for a few reasons. For one, this is by far the longest response she has yet given anyone in her author's notes, which is impressive for someone not worthy of her time. Secondly, Raksha never tries to sound "grown up," because she considers it pretentious, and mercilessly mocks those who do. I leave it for you to pick up on the irony here, O Reader. In addition, "any more" in that context is customarily written as two words.

No more. So sad am I, for I was really kind of enjoying that.

The best part of this entire little spat, as I touched upon, is the sheer irony of it all. They said Raksha was attacking the author, and had no right to do so. The response to that perceived attack? Why, nothing but swift and misspelled flames! I love the smell of inadvertent self-crippling in the evening.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Hypocrisy. Spicy.

-Isa.

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